Sidetracked: If Maria Ozawa dies…

WARNING: FOR 18 YEARS OLD AND ABOVE!

Hell, no! I’m not wishing that’s gonna happen!! (No boys would!) But somehow in one of my twisted ‘daydreams’, I can’t help but think what would happen if Maria Ozawa, aka Miyabi dies. Would lamentations be worldwide, or would she disappear from the annals of history?

Maria Ozawa: She's explosive...

As for those who have yet to know her, Maria Ozawa is a porn star (surprise!) of Japanese and French ancestry (yeah, exotic! I know!) and has a worldwide base of fans. Legions I might add. Some even filled up their hard drives with more than 30 gigabytes of her movies! Other porn stars, are less prominent among the boys. This may be owed to Maria Ozawa’s appearance in a non-pornographic movie, as well as her stunning look.

A nationwide scandal hit Indonesia, the largest Muslim country in the world, when  a production house proposed to produce a movie starring Maria Ozawa, entitled ‘Menculik Miyabi’ (Kidnapping Miyabi). Indonesia’s Majlis Ulema (Ulama’s Council) voiced protest, over fear of the spread of ‘porn-culture’, as well as the romanticizing of porn stars. The movie producers as well as Ozawa’s manager did not give up. To ‘appease’ the hardliners, they came up with a quirky posters for the Muslim holy month, urging Muslims to observe the month in a playful manner. Funny, sweet – but laughable attempt. As to late, the Indonesian government had posed a ban on Maria Ozawa from coming there. It was a ‘world issue’ alright – BBC and other mainstream medias around the globe printed and aired the news. A handful of Indonesia’s feminists objected the move, stating that Ozawa should only be banned if she is proven to commit crime. However, no world leaders commented on that (I wonder what Obama’s going to say if he was asked to). Still, we wait in case Hillary Clinton (US Secretary of State) or Angela Merkel (Chancellor of Germany, voted as the most powerful woman in 2008 by Forbes) would like to express their views. Perhaps Margaret Thatcher (the first woman as UK’s Prime Minister) may want to say something regarding the fight of working class women in this issue.

Hillary Clinton. Inset (top) is Margaret Thatcher and (below) is Angela Merkel

Now that we know how much ‘trouble’ she has, let us wonder how the world would react if she suddenly dies? Essentially, the boys would be the first to lament her death. Boys that grew up with her to be exact. For you virgins out there, no doubt that masturbating with Ozawa’s films are one of the best experiences in life. Heck, even if you don’t, at least she would appear into one or two of your wet dreams. So yeah – she will be missed dearly by many of libido driven teenagers.

Second in line to be affected? Grown up porn addicts. You may or may not know them. Parents, teachers, professors, taxi drivers, politicians – all these men would mourn her silently. Unlike the college kids – they have dignity and status to hold to. For those married bastards who imagined Ozawa’s face while making love with their wives would need to look for other porn stars or perhaps just face the truth (yes, pun intended!).

Porn industries (especially JAV and Vivid Productions) would have to face the fact that they have lost their ‘diva’. But I bet my last dime and my pillow that the download rate and sales would increase rapidly – and these production houses would be making tonnes of cash from that. It’s similar to the ‘Michael Jackson’ phenomenon. The porn world would be bombarded by everything Ozawa until a certain point when porn aficionados would shout “we’re bored! Get us new meat!”. And yes, the pornographic industry would proceed as usual after that.

World leaders would keep mum. Angela Merkel would ignore the newspaper headlines. While perverted presidents and prime ministers would talk among themselves regarding the demise of the porn star. Social scientists would investigate the nature of porn culture among the society, particularly the type of ‘social revolution’ that Ozawa made. A debate ensues – ‘whether she is the source of the new porn culture, or is it because she was there at the right time and place.

~ by cassini89 on November 3, 2009.